Archive for category 40

40+1 things I give thanks for on my 41st birthday

If I were a Mexican man, I most probably would not be writing this post. That is because in Mexico, men usually do not make too much fuss when they turn 41 as “being 41” is traditionally meant that you are a gay man.

Did you know that this actually has created statistical issues in Mexico because 41 year old men simply give their age as 40 or 42 when they participate in market research or demographic censi?

Anyway, I am not a man, so today that I turn 41 I felt inspired to think of those things why being a woman over 40 is so special. I wrote a post in Spanish for 40ymas.com and here below is the translation.

I know that this might come as a surprise to many following my ramblings before my 40th birthday just over a year ago. But hey, one is supposed to get wiser with age!

I’m grateful today ..

  1. For my daughter. The light of my life and the reason of my existence.
  2. For my mom. For her love and support despite the many miles between us.
  3. For my dad. The angel that protects me and the little devil that inspires me.
  4. For my sister. Because she simply is.
  5. Because I am now aware that there are no coincidences but “causalities” (effects). Things do not “happen to me” by accident, I cause them.
  6. Because I’m learning to take responsibility for my life. If I am happy and there is love in my life it is because I choose to be, to give and to receive it. If I am not happy and there is no love in my life, it is because I choose not to be, not to give and not to receive it.
  7. Because I know my body better than ever and recognize that it needs exercise and a proper diet for me to feel and look good.
  8. Because I usually like what I see in the mirror.
  9. Because on the days that I look in the mirror and I do not like what I see, I simply stop looking.
  10. Because finally I’ve realized that I deserve to spoil myself and to be spoiled.
  11. Because I’ve had the opportunity to live in many countries and learn from many cultures.
  12. Because my loved ones and I have good health.
  13. For that wonderful man who complements me and who exists somewhere in the world.
  14. Because I know that one day we will meet.
  15. For all that will happen after we meet.
  16. For my true friends. Those who are not there for a reason or a season, but for a lifetime.
  17. For my best friends and because they know well who they are.
  18. Because I have enough experience in my work, I know how to do it well and this is recognized.
  19. Because I still get excited when I have the opportunity to learn something new.
  20. Because I am still interested in learning new things.
  21. Because I feel more creative than ever.
  22. Because I have the opportunity to use my creativity in positive and useful projects.
  23. For those close to me who are involved in inspiring causes.
  24. Because life gives me the opportunity to improve every day.
  25. Because I enjoy being alone as much as I enjoy having company.
  26. Because I’m never really alone.
  27. Because despite everything I am still me.
  28. Because a few years ago I took the toughest decision of my life and I do not regret it at all.
  29. For the tears I shed before that decision.
  30. For the tears I did not shed after that.
  31. For the years that I have ahead of me.
  32. For each of the years I’ve lived.
  33. For all the mistakes I’ve made.
  34. For all the mistakes I will make.
  35. Because nowadays I rarely mind what others think of what I do or say.
  36. Because I do not feel embarrassed anymore when I have to say “no”.
  37. Because I never felt embarrassed to say yes.
  38. Because I now realize that sometimes there are consequences when I say yes.
  39. Because I enjoy following my heart.
  40. Because when my heart has nothing to say, there are other hearts that inspire me to find the answers.
  41. For 40ymas.com. A project that was born from a simple concern of mine and that today has a life of its own with a heart that beats to the rhythm of 12,000 wonderful Latin American women!

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Para las cuarentonas with love

Forty-something.com has been a real source of fun and excitement for me lately. As I’ve written before this is a very personal project that was born from my own struggle with turning 40 and the truth is that I never expected it to become so successful.

The site is now getting well over 15,000 unique visits a month, there are more than 600 subscribers to its mailing list, the website won an award only one month after its launch, it has reached a Google Page Rank of 5 in only four months and an Alexa Rank of 167,000. I know this must all sound like gibberish to my many lawyer-, economist-, hoteliers and artistic friends … but trust me: it’s good stuff!

So, moving forward, I’ve decided it’s time to go back to my roots and launched Forty-something.com’s sister blog in Spanish: www.40ymas.com.

This is an exciting project for me. On one hand I am blogging in Spanish, which is turning out to be a great exercise … and on the other hand I am enjoying tremendously the interaction with the many Spanish-speaking women that visit the blog and leave comments on it. I am having a blast!

If you speak Spanish, I invite you to visit my new 40ymas baby. And if you have Spanish-speaking female friends over 40, please let them know about this new cyberspace especially created for them.

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It’s all Chinese to me

When I was checking my websites and blogs’ stats earlier today, I realized that Forty-something.com had two visits from Guangzhou, China this morning. The visitors spent quite some time browsing the site, and what puzzled me is that I could not recognize their referral source.

So, I followed the link that brought these Chinese visitors to site and realized that they had used Google Translate. Although I find this tool’s translations very inaccurate it was great fun to see what the site looks like in Chinese. (click on the image to enlarge it)



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Crisis vs Transition

Someone told me once that the difference between a forty-something man and a forty-something woman is the way they approach middle life. Women go through middle life transitions while men through middle life crises.

I was in my mid-thirties when I was told this, so I remember laughing at the comment and not thinking too much of it. That is until now that I’ve crossed the demographic line that labels me as a middle-aged woman.

So this is the way I see it now:

Women transition into middle age by taking a good careful look at what we have and we then assess it in our own womanly way: “Is this the job I want to do until I retire?” “Is this the man I want to be with until I die?” “Is this the body I want to have?” We reflect, we analyze, we carefully take a decision and then we take action over a reasonable period of time. And this is because we are well aware way beforehand of what is coming with mid-age: our body is changing, our husband is aging and our job, family and relationships’ priorities have naturally shifted since we were in our 20s or 30s.

Men, on the other hand, go into crisis mode. Let’s remember first the definition of crisis: “a critical event, usually sudden and unexpected, which if not handled in an appropriate and timely manner (or if not handled at all), may turn into a catastrophe by damaging or threatening the life, reputation or assets of a company, person, country or the environment.”

So, in a few words, men don’t see it coming until it hits them right on the nose! They sail through their 20s and 30s and all of a sudden they find themselves with a beer belly, a job where they are not where they think they should be, and a wife who is not 25 anymore and … they panic!

No need to list all the possible consequences of a man’s midlife crisis … we know the common ones such as suddenly joining a triathlon, or buying a convertible car, or over-flirting with the young blonde assistant … but what about the midlife crisis at work?

I think that greed could be a symptom of it. The level of greed that has seen the collapse of the global economy, maybe? Let’s make it clear that I am NOT saying that ALL middle aged men are to be blamed for mishandling the world finances … but what if middle aged women had been in charge of the banking system during all these years, instead?

Maybe instead of a financial crisis we would be living a financial transition.

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Let’s go for a drink

Eighty days after starting a debate with myself – and my friends – on the positives (and not) of turning 40, the day finally arrived yesterday. D-day came and left … and now I am stuck being a forty-something for the next ten years.

Now I am anxiously looking forward to that life that started not even 24 hours ago. You know, that ‘life starts at 40′ thingy!

And while I settle into my new midage woman personality, here is something that a male friend sent and that really made me laugh … one of those ‘I-know-exactly-what-you-are-talking-about’ sort of laughs.

The question is: “WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR MIND WHEN SOMEONE SAYS LET’S GO FOR A DRINK??”

Forty-something or not, this is one answer where most women fit in. Or not?

Cheers!

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