Although I have worked in the field of communications for many years, I have to admit that there are a couple of people in my life with whom I know that having a normal conversation is totally out of the question.

With one particular person I decided to give up talking altogether and stick to written communications only, in the hope that things will improve at some point and with the relief that at least I have written evidence of what I said. But even then, if I write “white” he reads “black”, when I write “thread” he reads “threat” …!

The fact that we both speak different languages and have very different backgrounds does not help. Breaking a language barrier by being totally fluent in a second, third or fourth language does not mean that you can easily cross the cultural barrier.

Like the story of a Polish man who moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

L: Have you any grounds?

P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

P: It made of concrete.

L: I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?

P: No, we have carport, and not need one.

L: I mean. What are your relations like?

P: All my relations still in Poland

L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L: Does your wife beat you up?

P: No, I always up before her

L: Is your wife a nagger?

P: No, she white.

L: Why do you want this divorce?

P: She going to kill me.

L: What makes you think that?

P: I got proof.

L: What kind of proof?

P: She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: ‘Polish Remover’