I miss doing press work.

That’s probably why I especially enjoyed watching The Krabby Kronicle today.

Yes, you guessed right, anything with the word “krabby” in it for sure has something to do with SpongeBob Squarepants. I’ve written before about my fondness for this cartoon character, and watching him pretend to be a journalist was the ultimate entertainment!

I tried to source the video of the show to share it here but Nickelodeon is very protective of their materials … so I got a transcript of some of my favorite bits of the show:

Mr Krabs decides to launch his own newspaper when he realizes that the newspaper business “sure is easy money”, so he tells SpongeBob:

- Mr. Krabs: Off of your duff, boy. I expect you to wear two hats. ‘Cause along with your usual fry cooking duties, you’re my new lead reporter for the new Krabby Kronicle!”

But SpongeBob’s first story does not sell newspapers: he decided to write about Patrick Star watching a pole:

- Mr. Krabs: When you write these stories you’ve gotta use a little imagination, boy.

- SpongeBob: Imagination!

- Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Maybe instead of Man watches pole, you could say something like… oh… Man marries pole. Then you can alter the photo a little to fit the headline and, see? (Mr. Krabs modified it to look like what he said) Now that’s a juicy story!

- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, isn’t that lying?

- Mr. Krabs: Don’t think of it as lying, boy. Think of it as… uh… A practical joke. You know. Something everybody can have a good laugh about. The public expects a little embellishment here and there, so I want you to go out there, and get me a lead story that will sell!

See? This is why I miss doing press work. No offense, but characters as entertaining as the ones above are only found on TV cartoons and in certain media outlets!

I’ve written before about some of my favorite cartoons of yesteryear, and I have to say that while I still have a good laugh watching The Flintstones or Top Cat with my daughter, there is one ‘newcomer’ that has made it to the top of the list: SpongeBob SquarePants.

Who could have ever imagined that a bright yellow sponge with an annoying laugh, who lives in a place called “Bikini Bottom”, and hangs out with a chubby starfish and a grumpy squid would become so popular?

Did you know that his creator is actually a marine biologist?

And that Johnny Depp voiced a surfer dude in a recent episode? Or that Victoria Beckham is the next celebrity to voice a guest character in the show?

SpongeBob SquarePants is turning 10 this year … Happy Birthday yellow dude!

And that reminds me of another kid’s favorite who is celebrating a milestone soon: Barbie is turning 50.

Madonna’s age.

Somehow I’d rather be yellow, square, and ten.